Recently I have had the misfortune to having to re-assess some of my friendships that I thought had already stood the test of time, some more than several decades old, relationships that I really believed to be completely solid but seems I was mistaken and what I thought was deep, mature relationships was in reality myself holding on to the nostalgia of the memories shared with these people.
Needless to say its been a troubling time, what do you do when you are presented with a “non” situation, something that you don’t really need to do anything about but still you feel something needs to be done about anyways.
I value my friends so much, sometimes more than I value my own family and that value has been taken advantage of, and more often than ever I’m the one feeling let down. I have always felt like a good judge of character and many of my dearest friends today are people I have only known for less than a decade, I worry that maybe decades from now some of these people will let me down so easily as this current handful.
I don’t know exactly what to do with them but I find it quite bizarre that this is happening all around the same 2 year period, or as I would call it, the now. So here I am, finally doing kinda well in this little career of mine that I can actually decide that my time is worth something, and it is yet feeling that a few of what I felt were my closest allies, could care less. When your closest of friends are merely taking advantage of your care and more important your time, when do you draw the proverbial line in the sand?
When is it time to deem these relationships a burden with fond memories? When I decide to be as selfish as these “friends” I clearly see what I was so blind for so long to see and like a predictable sitcom script I can accurately predict how these selfish souls begin to spin the blame back onto me. My niceness was my biggest pitfall and when I remove it, of course I am to blame.
For me, it’s time to end the insanity I let grow now, I will remove these energy sponges from my life, cast aside the memories, never discarding any because they still are good memories but it’s time to value my time back and to cast off the burdens of a lifetime past. I will refocus all this new found time and energy into newer and more positive relationships. Friendships that share energy and philosophy and ideas and not just suckle from yours!
Friendships are a different sort of relationship. But a relationship they are still no doubt. They need care and attention for them to grow. The best of them will grow through hardship more so that any other ingredient put onto them and if you cant be a positive part of any platonic relationship then you should not have the chance to say you can be a best friend to anyone else.
This rant was inspired by the Bruce Sprinsteen Rock Hall induction speech for his E Street band. Him acknowledging that as great as he is/was he was made greater by his band, his close band of friends that were so instrumental in his own journey to stardom, that without them, his path may not have been so magical, I had that magic for a while then I held onto the notion that lighting could strike again but I was the only one with that notion. I will make magic with my new band now!
Here’s the Springsteen link, its long, 16 minutes long but it may make you look at your own posse differently.